Abbott and Costello Buy A Computer

by Joe Archive on July 22, 2009

div pspan style=”font-size:10pt;”span style=”font-style: italic;”The first new joke forward worth repeating in a very long time…/spanbr //span/ppspan style=”font-size:10pt;”In today’s world, Bud ABBOTT and Lou COSTELLO’s famous sketch “Who’s on first?” might have turned out something like this….br /COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT . . . .br /ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?br /COSTELLO: Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.br /ABBOTT: Mac?br /COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.br /ABBOTT: Your computer?br /COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.br /ABBOTT: Mac?br /COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.br /ABBOTT: What about Windows?br /COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?br /ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?br /COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look in the windows?br /ABBOTT: Wallpaper.br /COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.br /ABBOTT: Software for Windows?br /COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?br /ABBOTT: Office.br /COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?br /ABBOTT: I just did.br /COSTELLO: You just did what?br /ABBOTT: Recommend something.br /COSTELLO: You recommended something?br /ABBOTT: Yes.br /COSTELLO: For my office?br /ABBOTT: Yes.br /COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?br /ABBOTT: Office.br /COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!br /ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.br /COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?br /ABBOTT: Word.br /COSTELLO: What word?br /ABBOTT: Word in Office.br /COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.br /ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.br /COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?br /ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue “W”.br /COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue “w” if you don’t start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?br /ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.br /COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!br /ABBOTT: Real One.br /COSTELLO: If it’s a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 amp; 4. Can I watch them?br /ABBOTT: Of course.br /COSTELLO: Great! With what?br /ABBOTT: Real One.br /COSTELLO: OK, I’m at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?br /ABBOTT: You click the blue “1”.br /COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?br /ABBOTT: The blue “1”.br /COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?br /ABBOTT: The blue “1” is Real One and the blue “W” is Word.br /COSTELLO: What word?br /ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.br /COSTELLO: But there are three words in “office for windows”!br /ABBOTT: No, just one. But it’s the most popular Word in the world.br /COSTELLO: It is?br /ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren’t many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.br /COSTELLO: And that word is real one?br /ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn’t even part of Office.br /COSTELLO: STOP! Don’t start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?br /ABBOTT: Money.br /COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?br /ABBOTT: Money.br /COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?br /ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer?br /COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?br /ABBOTT: Money.br /COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?br /ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.br /COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?br /ABBOTT: One copy.br /COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?br /ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.br /COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?br /ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!br /A FEW DAYS LATER . . .br /ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?br /COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?br /ABBOTT: Click on “START” . . ./span/ppspan style=”font-size:10pt;”br //span/ppspan style=”font-size:10pt;”br //span/ppspan style=”font-size:10pt;”br //span/ppspan style=”font-size:10pt;”span class=”Apple-style-span” style=”font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; border-collapse: collapse; “(c) 2004 by Tom King – Used by permissionbr /Some Rights Reservedbr /a href=”mailto:twayneking@gmail.com” target=”_blank” style=”color: rgb(92, 69, 32); “twayneking@gmail.com/abr /a href=”http://twayneking.blogspot.com” target=”_blank” style=”color: rgb(92, 69, 32); “http://twayneking.blogspot.com/a /span/span/p /div

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